Our writers sharing some of their work.
And who else stayed for the night?
A short story about the subtleties of Census night in a country village - presented by Robyn.
In 2011 there were 357 people living in Meerschaum Vale. 52.1% were male and 47.9% were female[1]. Please enable us to update these figures by completing the enclosed census form.
“There’s a category here for Household Residents.
“Do we count the green tree frogs munching moths on the window sill because country people never close their curtains when they put the lights on at night?
“Do we include the family of possums that I can guarantee will tap dance on the iron roof tonight at 3.00am to ensure I’m awake (to behold the full moon scribing love songs across the living room carpet…)?
“They’ve got another think coming if they expect me to get up into the ceiling cavity to unravel the number of carpet snakes in residence. After the pas de deux two months ago will I just write, ‘Somewhere between 2 and 32’?
“Does the rabbit warren under the back deck count?
“The next section is about Buildings. Why the fixation on the number of bedrooms? And do I classify the verandah as a sleepout because that’s where Dane’s bed is in summer? Or is it allocated to the business (see Form F) if all the men have smoko there every day?
“Now they want to know about Significant Native Trees on the Property. Toona ciliata var. australis (common name Red Cedar). Just one, unfortunately. Under Grevillea robusta (common name Silky Oak) I’ll put 100 – no make that 97 after the lightning strike took out three and the phone line, yet again. Might be wise not to tell them about the White Cedar you cut down without permission the other day because I whinged once too often that the caterpillar hairs were giving the kids asthma.
“Mmm, this next question is a bit tricky: How many vehicles are stored at the property? Technically I could write three Cars/Utilities, but then there are the two paddock bashers the kids learnt to drive in, and then there are those half dozen in eternal rest deep underground. Jim ‘stored’ them all right when he brought his excavator over. It’ll take ground penetrating radar to ever find them…
“Next category: Property Assets. That does it! I just don’t have time for all this. Perhaps I’ll tick None of the Above and write it my way.”
Our Meerschaum Vale property sits in a valley cradled beneath a sky exploding with stars. It is softened by breezes that sweep in from the sea…and did I add that the sunsets are to die for?
You want me to count Silky Oaks, but how do I describe to you the majesty of their flickering gold dancing against a clear blue spring sky or the sympathetic blood-red tears they weep from their furrowed bark each time the wet season ruins our crops?
Are my tanks an asset because rain is nature’s sweetest gift, or are they a liability because when there’s a blackout I have no toilet or showers or any way to get a drink?
My children are free to roam the wide compass of our land. My neighbour’s chooks are welcome to scratch chip bark mandalas all over the path leading to my front door because they barter the privilege with warm eggs for breakfast.
You might want us to apologise that we live along a dirt road, but that just means when we see your dust coming, we’ve time to put the kettle on.
My property’s main asset? It is just far enough away, and just close enough to.
[1] http://meerschaum-vale.localstats.com.au/population/nsw/north-coast/northern-rivers/meerschaum-vale
“There’s a category here for Household Residents.
“Do we count the green tree frogs munching moths on the window sill because country people never close their curtains when they put the lights on at night?
“Do we include the family of possums that I can guarantee will tap dance on the iron roof tonight at 3.00am to ensure I’m awake (to behold the full moon scribing love songs across the living room carpet…)?
“They’ve got another think coming if they expect me to get up into the ceiling cavity to unravel the number of carpet snakes in residence. After the pas de deux two months ago will I just write, ‘Somewhere between 2 and 32’?
“Does the rabbit warren under the back deck count?
“The next section is about Buildings. Why the fixation on the number of bedrooms? And do I classify the verandah as a sleepout because that’s where Dane’s bed is in summer? Or is it allocated to the business (see Form F) if all the men have smoko there every day?
“Now they want to know about Significant Native Trees on the Property. Toona ciliata var. australis (common name Red Cedar). Just one, unfortunately. Under Grevillea robusta (common name Silky Oak) I’ll put 100 – no make that 97 after the lightning strike took out three and the phone line, yet again. Might be wise not to tell them about the White Cedar you cut down without permission the other day because I whinged once too often that the caterpillar hairs were giving the kids asthma.
“Mmm, this next question is a bit tricky: How many vehicles are stored at the property? Technically I could write three Cars/Utilities, but then there are the two paddock bashers the kids learnt to drive in, and then there are those half dozen in eternal rest deep underground. Jim ‘stored’ them all right when he brought his excavator over. It’ll take ground penetrating radar to ever find them…
“Next category: Property Assets. That does it! I just don’t have time for all this. Perhaps I’ll tick None of the Above and write it my way.”
Our Meerschaum Vale property sits in a valley cradled beneath a sky exploding with stars. It is softened by breezes that sweep in from the sea…and did I add that the sunsets are to die for?
You want me to count Silky Oaks, but how do I describe to you the majesty of their flickering gold dancing against a clear blue spring sky or the sympathetic blood-red tears they weep from their furrowed bark each time the wet season ruins our crops?
Are my tanks an asset because rain is nature’s sweetest gift, or are they a liability because when there’s a blackout I have no toilet or showers or any way to get a drink?
My children are free to roam the wide compass of our land. My neighbour’s chooks are welcome to scratch chip bark mandalas all over the path leading to my front door because they barter the privilege with warm eggs for breakfast.
You might want us to apologise that we live along a dirt road, but that just means when we see your dust coming, we’ve time to put the kettle on.
My property’s main asset? It is just far enough away, and just close enough to.
[1] http://meerschaum-vale.localstats.com.au/population/nsw/north-coast/northern-rivers/meerschaum-vale
What Would She Say?
If our Meerschaum Vale Hall could talk, what would she say? Josephine Saunders asks the question and muses on the her possible response.
5th September, 2015.
If These Halls Could Talk – just what would our Meerschaum Vale Hall say?
Would she talk about the first settlers, whom she would have heard about from the old-timers? The first settlers who walked from Meerschaum Vale to Casino to register their cedar covered land, and then had to trudge back, because there were no roads.
Would she talk about the excitement in Meerschaum Vale when the first Hall meetings were held in Mr. Stamp’s home with Mr. Mackie as President as they sought to build their own community hall? Perhaps she would show gratitude for the donation of the land by the Creighton Family. Doubtless, in those days, she would have been pleased to have had the Anglican Church meetings held within her walls before the Church was moved from its inaccessible place on top of the hill.
And boy, would she have been happy and proud at her official opening on Friday, February 1st in 1907! She would have given a great welcome to those present at the annual meeting on February 22, 1907. C. Payne, R.Beggs, H. Creighton, R. Mallett,
M. Donohoe, M.Stamp, A. Stamp, T. Slattery. W. Armbruster and W.Beggs, knowing what a great job they had done to help build a Hall.
Would our Meerschaum Vale Hall reminisce about the fabulous country dances held within her walls? About happy horse riders laughing and enjoying some great dancing to the music from the old piano in the corner. Was she tempted to warn the
sorry owner of the light coloured horse which some larrikins painted black, so the owner could not find his horse when the revellery was over?
She would have been very happy to talk about the supper room and amenities room added in 1986 and the formal ball held to celebrate them. So much more room for everyone.
Actually, she would certainly be quietly proud of the timber and gold lettered Honour Rolls for the fallen.
Would she talk about the fabulous effort given by the Community to totally renovate her, starting 2005? How wonderful it was to have people, newish to the area, take such a great interest in her again to get this going. How amazed she was that so many people, young and old, and from so many diverse walks of life were galvanised to work and work and work to get her looking beautiful and smart again. She would talk about the great day when her 100 year celebrations were officially opened with over 100 past and present Meerschaum Vale community members where she was able to show off her new self. She would have listened to the stories told on that day and wished she could have talked herself.
She might mention the cricket match held annually on Australia Day, because she would have been watching from a distance across the fields. A tradition renewed after the 100 year celebrations.
I would hope she doesn’t talk too much about our WWAGGS (Women Wives Girlfriends and Guys) night on the first Friday of the Month. We don’t want her talking too much about our fun and games! The men may not want her to talk too much about their discussions on Friday nights in summer, either.
She would have been very excited about the fabulous calendars put out as a fundraiser. She knew how much work went into them. She would love to tell you more about the goings on of the Garden Club, Camera Group, and Market Day though. She would talk about the delicious aromas floating from her kitchen on her annual Curry Nights, the trivia nights when she knew all the answers but couldn’t tell anyone. For years to come she will be able to talk about the Family Christmas Parties starting up again on her grounds. Especially she will talk about how wonderful it is to have a fence built to keep her children safer.
She would tell us about the Christmas Party for the adults and how much fun is had on these occasions, where the community gathers to share the Christmas spirit. She would be a bit teary at times, telling us about the wakes held and good friends lost. But she would be proud of the way her community has gathered around and supported each other.
She’s rather enjoying her community holding important meetings within her walls. She likes knowing her community is active in koala protection, by-pass, and council planning. And when elections are held, she likes the way people come to vote but end up staying to yarn with neighbours and friends.
Actually, she is very happy to know that she is a Community Hall. She would tell you how nice it is, in this modern day of technology, that the community still meet and talk within her walls. She would cheerfully chat about the children running around outside, and watching them climb the Great Tree. The Great Tree which has been climbed for over 100 years! She might tell you that she really fancies the High Teas held annually for the Mothers group. She might even think wistfully of days gone by when perhaps formality was what she really enjoyed, instead of the more casual attitudes of today.
She would probably talk sadly about the loss of the school, the post office and the church in the area. She might however, be feeling just a little bit smarty pants about being the one community bastion left! She knows her committee and community will not let her go.
She would probably like to see a few more artistic events held around her area, though, to join the Community in a common artistic journey. She does love music, dance, and art. Perhaps her turn will come!
If These Halls Could Talk – just what would our Meerschaum Vale Hall say?
Would she talk about the first settlers, whom she would have heard about from the old-timers? The first settlers who walked from Meerschaum Vale to Casino to register their cedar covered land, and then had to trudge back, because there were no roads.
Would she talk about the excitement in Meerschaum Vale when the first Hall meetings were held in Mr. Stamp’s home with Mr. Mackie as President as they sought to build their own community hall? Perhaps she would show gratitude for the donation of the land by the Creighton Family. Doubtless, in those days, she would have been pleased to have had the Anglican Church meetings held within her walls before the Church was moved from its inaccessible place on top of the hill.
And boy, would she have been happy and proud at her official opening on Friday, February 1st in 1907! She would have given a great welcome to those present at the annual meeting on February 22, 1907. C. Payne, R.Beggs, H. Creighton, R. Mallett,
M. Donohoe, M.Stamp, A. Stamp, T. Slattery. W. Armbruster and W.Beggs, knowing what a great job they had done to help build a Hall.
Would our Meerschaum Vale Hall reminisce about the fabulous country dances held within her walls? About happy horse riders laughing and enjoying some great dancing to the music from the old piano in the corner. Was she tempted to warn the
sorry owner of the light coloured horse which some larrikins painted black, so the owner could not find his horse when the revellery was over?
She would have been very happy to talk about the supper room and amenities room added in 1986 and the formal ball held to celebrate them. So much more room for everyone.
Actually, she would certainly be quietly proud of the timber and gold lettered Honour Rolls for the fallen.
Would she talk about the fabulous effort given by the Community to totally renovate her, starting 2005? How wonderful it was to have people, newish to the area, take such a great interest in her again to get this going. How amazed she was that so many people, young and old, and from so many diverse walks of life were galvanised to work and work and work to get her looking beautiful and smart again. She would talk about the great day when her 100 year celebrations were officially opened with over 100 past and present Meerschaum Vale community members where she was able to show off her new self. She would have listened to the stories told on that day and wished she could have talked herself.
She might mention the cricket match held annually on Australia Day, because she would have been watching from a distance across the fields. A tradition renewed after the 100 year celebrations.
I would hope she doesn’t talk too much about our WWAGGS (Women Wives Girlfriends and Guys) night on the first Friday of the Month. We don’t want her talking too much about our fun and games! The men may not want her to talk too much about their discussions on Friday nights in summer, either.
She would have been very excited about the fabulous calendars put out as a fundraiser. She knew how much work went into them. She would love to tell you more about the goings on of the Garden Club, Camera Group, and Market Day though. She would talk about the delicious aromas floating from her kitchen on her annual Curry Nights, the trivia nights when she knew all the answers but couldn’t tell anyone. For years to come she will be able to talk about the Family Christmas Parties starting up again on her grounds. Especially she will talk about how wonderful it is to have a fence built to keep her children safer.
She would tell us about the Christmas Party for the adults and how much fun is had on these occasions, where the community gathers to share the Christmas spirit. She would be a bit teary at times, telling us about the wakes held and good friends lost. But she would be proud of the way her community has gathered around and supported each other.
She’s rather enjoying her community holding important meetings within her walls. She likes knowing her community is active in koala protection, by-pass, and council planning. And when elections are held, she likes the way people come to vote but end up staying to yarn with neighbours and friends.
Actually, she is very happy to know that she is a Community Hall. She would tell you how nice it is, in this modern day of technology, that the community still meet and talk within her walls. She would cheerfully chat about the children running around outside, and watching them climb the Great Tree. The Great Tree which has been climbed for over 100 years! She might tell you that she really fancies the High Teas held annually for the Mothers group. She might even think wistfully of days gone by when perhaps formality was what she really enjoyed, instead of the more casual attitudes of today.
She would probably talk sadly about the loss of the school, the post office and the church in the area. She might however, be feeling just a little bit smarty pants about being the one community bastion left! She knows her committee and community will not let her go.
She would probably like to see a few more artistic events held around her area, though, to join the Community in a common artistic journey. She does love music, dance, and art. Perhaps her turn will come!
Why am I always the smartest guy in the room?
A light-hearted narrative with a twist in the tail - shared by Simon Chate
“Why am I always the smartest guy in the room?
The speaker shrugged, looking from face to face at his unflinching audience. They didn’t know … they shrugged back.
“It’s funny, you know,” he went on, gesturing with his left hand, “I seem to be living in a world where I’m mostly misunderstood. No one gets me!”
His audience watched. Occasionally they turned to look or wave at one another, but no one said anything, they simply stood there, watching, clearly interested in what he was going to do or say next.
“Well, what do you think? Am I going crazy here? Why is it that people think I mean one thing when I’m talking about something entirely different? It happens all the time!” He spoke passionately to the assembled crowd. Each one of them stood, looking from him to another – and no one said anything.
The speaker smiled.
So did the audience.
He pointed to the nearest face, who was grinning and pointing back at him. “I’m smarter than you!” he said. The face smiled and nodded.
He nodded to another face. “I’m smarter than you too!” That face smiled as well and nodded cheerily back at him.
This was great! He was in charge here – he was the boss, and all these people knew it. How great it would be if life was like this all the time.
Suddenly, a cloud seemed to pass across his face, darkening and intensifying. The audience responded in kind. They were so ‘in the moment’ with him that his very thoughts and feelings seemed to be reflected almost instantaneously in theirs.
“But it’s not real! Life’s not really like this … I’m not really in charge!” He looked sad and defeated. Was that sympathy he saw in the eyes that watched him? Was that a tear? He wasn’t sure but somehow he didn’t feel so alone with it all anymore.
“Come on, JJ, time to go.”
He frowned at the voice and all turned towards it, then turned back, as one, to look at him directly.
“What can I do?” He said with another shrug, “I’m not the boss of me!”
Everybody had a wry grin at that.
And, with a final wave, they all turned their colour co-ordinated selves in the direction of the exit and walked purposefully, from one panel to the next, in perfect time with young JJ. And with each forward step, his audience dwindled until there was only a brief glimpse of a cheek or a hand of the few remaining watchers.
Finally, and with a triumphant ‘ta-da!’ JJ burst out from the Hall of Mirrors and ran after his mum.
The speaker shrugged, looking from face to face at his unflinching audience. They didn’t know … they shrugged back.
“It’s funny, you know,” he went on, gesturing with his left hand, “I seem to be living in a world where I’m mostly misunderstood. No one gets me!”
His audience watched. Occasionally they turned to look or wave at one another, but no one said anything, they simply stood there, watching, clearly interested in what he was going to do or say next.
“Well, what do you think? Am I going crazy here? Why is it that people think I mean one thing when I’m talking about something entirely different? It happens all the time!” He spoke passionately to the assembled crowd. Each one of them stood, looking from him to another – and no one said anything.
The speaker smiled.
So did the audience.
He pointed to the nearest face, who was grinning and pointing back at him. “I’m smarter than you!” he said. The face smiled and nodded.
He nodded to another face. “I’m smarter than you too!” That face smiled as well and nodded cheerily back at him.
This was great! He was in charge here – he was the boss, and all these people knew it. How great it would be if life was like this all the time.
Suddenly, a cloud seemed to pass across his face, darkening and intensifying. The audience responded in kind. They were so ‘in the moment’ with him that his very thoughts and feelings seemed to be reflected almost instantaneously in theirs.
“But it’s not real! Life’s not really like this … I’m not really in charge!” He looked sad and defeated. Was that sympathy he saw in the eyes that watched him? Was that a tear? He wasn’t sure but somehow he didn’t feel so alone with it all anymore.
“Come on, JJ, time to go.”
He frowned at the voice and all turned towards it, then turned back, as one, to look at him directly.
“What can I do?” He said with another shrug, “I’m not the boss of me!”
Everybody had a wry grin at that.
And, with a final wave, they all turned their colour co-ordinated selves in the direction of the exit and walked purposefully, from one panel to the next, in perfect time with young JJ. And with each forward step, his audience dwindled until there was only a brief glimpse of a cheek or a hand of the few remaining watchers.
Finally, and with a triumphant ‘ta-da!’ JJ burst out from the Hall of Mirrors and ran after his mum.